Test run

Amanda and I joked Monday about giving our son-to-be an ultimatum: Come on out or we're inducing labor and forcing you out.
And at about 9:45 Monday night, it looked like he might have listened. I was watching part of Super Bowl IX on DVD (Franco Harris had just run for a touchdown to put the Steelers up 9-0 in what would be their first Super Bowl title), when Amanda came out of the bathroom and said, "I think my water just broke."

I was in utter shock.

Didn't our son know the plan was to go to the hospital Wednesday night? Sure he was due Monday, but we really weren't expecting him anymore.
My response was to frantically search for "What to Expect When You're Expecting" for five minutes to see what we should do next. Amanda called our doctor and said we should go to the hospital.
We packed our bags (again, frantically ... OK, I was frantic, Amanda was calm) and headed to the hospital.

Where we found that, apparently, nothing had happened. It was all a false alarm. No big deal, of course. We got some more ultrasound pictures; we got to see the baby's heartrate go from 130 beats per minute to 170 and back, and the doctors/nurses tell us that was a good sign (?). I got to remember there was a couch there that I'll be sleeping on Wednesday night when we go in before inducing Thursday morning (note to self: bring pillow).
And we got to see that the people running things in the Labor/Delivery area are all on the ball. They made us feel relaxed and they let me wander around the room and not feel too in the way.

Amanda felt bad she dragged me to the hospital from 10:30 to midnight on a weeknight, but I keep telling her we did the right thing.

So now, I think, we're more prepared for the real thing. Last night was an amazing adrenalin rush, followed by a major crash (I was out soon after hitting the bed). I have a feeling there's going to be a much longer rush Thursday, followed by a very heavy sleep whenever I can put the baby down.

Only two more days until we're parents!

It's a go!

We've passed the official due date, and our baby hasn't even dropped yet. We're figuring it has something to do with what he's feeling, as described in a book Amanda was just reading: He's being held 24 hours per day and getting fed every second, as needed. Who can compete with that?

But we're giving him an ultimatum. Do it yourself or, after our meeting with the doctor this morning, we'll be inducing labor. We've scheduled to go in Wednesday night for starters, then things should get rolling on Thursday. Yeah, we'll have a baby on Groundhog Day, but he WILL NOT be named Phil (no offense to any Phil's out there). This plan would likely bring him home Saturday, and allow the three of us some time to spend together watching the Super Bowl on Sunday, as I described a few posts ago. Then I'll be off from work next week, and we'll all get to know eachother as, surely, family members file through during the weekdays.

Amanda and I are looking forward to finally having our baby. She's done with being pregnant. And she's convinced our son is upside down in her belly with his hands braced on her hip bones, pushing himself up against gravity. She's also afraid he's not ready, but the doctors seem to think he is (as does the calendar). So it looks like we'll be parents Thursday. Yikes. I don't think that's really hit me yet.

Name fun
While in the waiting room today, a baby magazine mentioned the name we've picked for our son as an example of an "old-fashioned" name. It noted parents who pick these names are fairly traditional and live in older houses. Then it pulled out a great description, noting these parents either "have money or want to." Wow! I think they covered about 99 percent of the world's population with that. That's useful information. I was waiting for desriptions like "wear clothing much of the time" and "tend to like oxygen."

Too much information

It's amazing, when you're waiting for labor to begin (OK, make that DESPERATELY waiting for labor to begin; agonizing over how long this whole thing is taking; feeling like a kid on Christmas Eve) how personal some people get.

There are a lot of suggestions out there about how to give labor a kickstart, and most of them are pretty personal kinds of ideas (I'm not going to go into them, as too many family members read this). Despite the personal nature of the ideas, numerous people keep suggesting them, then asking if I followed through on their suggestions. It's really very odd.

(Hmm. Then again, I'm basically writing a diary for public viewing, so how much privacy should I expect, right?)

I don't know. I certainly appreciate the input. But Amanda and I are still waiting, waiting, waiting for things to happen. Amanda says it was actually 40 weeks today. Me? I've been confused about how you count this thing since the beginning. I thought we were due Monday.

Either way, we're back to the doctor on Monday. She previously said we might be talking about inducing at that point if things aren't progressing to avoid getting to the point where a C-section is the only option. I like that idea. Last thing we need is a mom recovering from surgery while the baby is in his first weeks.

Guess we'll find out Monday.

Shawn's lies

Another coworker here at the Courier-Post (I'll call him Shawn, because that's this name). Is also having a baby in the next two weeks or so. His wife is expecting about 10 days behind us, but it's starting to look like she might beat Amanda and me to the punch (I've been trying to push down on Amanda's belly, but she insists that's not the way to do it).

Anyway, Shawn and I were talking the other day about 1st-year baby books. We've read all we're going to read on how to deal with pregnancy, but what are we going to read about how to handle the first year of having a baby?

I explained that I had bought a fun book (Safe Baby Handling Tips) giving a number of "Do" and "Don't" options for caring for your baby: "Waking baby," for example, says "Do" next to a mom pleasantly kissing her child on the forhead; and "DON'T" next to the smiling dad with an air horn. "Drying baby" says "Do" next to the mom with a soft towel and "DON'T" next to the dad looking at his watch next to the clothes dryer. (Why is it that the dad is assumed to be the problem parent?)
The book also contains a spinner wheel like on a board game with a number of "mom" and "dad" spots. It's supposed to help you decide who has to change the diaper or whatever other undesirable task needs to be done. It touts its benefits as keeping parents "fair, honest and undivorced."

Anyway, Shawn is leaning toward The Baby Owner's Manual written by a pediatrician and his son in a style like a car-care manual. It talks about the child's "parts" and discusses fuel and such.

This all seemed like a good discussion to have. Then Shawn mentioned his concern over knocking the baby's umbilical cord off early. He was concerned, he said, because it would cause a bunch of bleeding. This sounded like a serious problem I'd never heard of. I though the problem was the thing not coming off.
Then Shawn went on to explain the loss of the umbilical cord would also expose the internal organs as the skin pulled back ... then he started laughing and said he was kidding around.

Kidding? Doesn't he know I'm about to be a dad? This is no time for kidding.
That's it. We're not letting our baby play with Shawn (his wife, however, seems like a nice person. And I'm sure their daughter will take after her).

Convergence

As soon as we found out we were pregnant and due in late January, we joked about the possibility that the Steelers would probably make the Super Bowl for the first time since we met. We laughed at the idea ... there was no way it could happen, right? Not this year. Plaxico has left. Bettis and Staley were question marks. Big Ben looked iffy in the preseason. Surely we were safe.

Then it happened. Everything came together like a dream. The Steelers are there, and the baby is looking like he's going to be late.

My plan now? My hope in all of this? I would love to be able to watch the Super Bowl with my son. Sure, he won't ever have a hope of remembering what happened, but it would be so amazing to sit in our living room with my son next to me (perhaps wearing Steelers clothing?) while watching my team in the big game. It would be a fantastic time for us to bond. Just me and Amanda and the little guy, relaxing and watching and changing diapers. I wouldn't have it any other way.

Now all we need to do is encourage the little guy to make an appearance within the next 10 days or so. (10 days! That's so near!).

Good odds, for now

As of now, there are perhaps eight hours over the next 14 days that I might want to watch live sports (and that's only if the Steelers win). That's about 2.4 percent of the time. It's looking pretty definite that Amanda won't be having the baby during today's game (still no concrete warning signs of labor).

We'll be visiting the doctor again Monday to see how things are progressing. Then we have another appointment for Jan. 30, which is also the due date. If there's nothing by then, we might start talking about inducing labor. At his size, the doctor suggested it might make more sense than waiting.

Luckily (?), Amanda has a plan to deal with his delays. She's decided to help him be born soon by not packing a bag to take to the hospital. I can't say I buy into this theory, but Amanda seems to like it. So, what the heck? We'll give it a try.

By this time next week, I could be a father. That's still amazing to me.

Anxiety increasing

We're getting to a seriously high tension time now. We know the baby is supposed to be born soon. We know he's fairly large. So why hasn't he dropped? Are the "signs" we're seeing really warnings of labor or just wishful thinking?
So far, it's been wishful thinking.

Amanda has it worse. She's been off work since Monday. The first couple of days were a good, relaxing time. But Amanda is the hard-working type who likes to keep busy. After a few days of mostly laundry, dishes and working on a broken sewing machine, she's at her wit's end. She was happy today to get some questions at home from a coworker.
She's mostly at home waiting for an unknown point of time, and it's (understandably) bothering her. We tried renting some movies I don't want to see but she does want to see, but she'd not the type to sit around and watch TV during the day all that much. And she's more than a little afraid she'll start watching daytime TV, get hooked on it and not want to go back to work.

As for me, it's just waiting, waiting, waiting. As I told Amanda, she's held the baby for the past nine months, now I want to hold him for a while. But we have no idea what to expect or when.

It's just maddening.

Naming rights, again

Some of you might remember one of my earliest posts about selling the naming rights of our baby to online casino GoldenPalace.com. I figured this would be an excellent way to pay for our child's education (and more), and the casino would love the publicity. It's a win-win situation.

But not everyone agreed.
Fair enough.

I pretty much forgot about the plan until today, when I saw GoldenPalace in the news again for buying William Shatner's kidney stone for $25,000. Come on! This company has bought toast, a kidney stone and the naming rights to a species of monkey. I really feel like we could have worked something out for the naming rights to a baby.

Oh well, too late now. Amanda is only days away from the big day. We're getting nervous and anxious ...

Rating the reading

Some parents-to-be collect dozens of books, magazines, etc. telling them how to deal with pregnancy and such. We fell into that trap a little, but managed to avoid spending too much money on a bunch of useless stuff. For any future parents reading out there, here's a list of much of what we used to help us prepare and how useful it was, based on my experience:

What to Expect When You're Expecting: 5 stars. This, of course, is the bible of baby. It covers numerous possibilities, circumstances and issues. And it does a good job of keeping mom-to-be and dad-to-be calm about unexpected occurrences. Everyone suggests it, and there's a reason for that.

Baby Bargain Secrets: 4 1/2 stars. I though this was a fantastic time and money saver. On top of pointing out great bargains, it also helps explain what you'll need clearly and concisely.

"American Baby" segments on Comcast On-Demand: 4 stars. These 5-minute segments were quick and painless. They get right to the point (each segment has a different topic), talk to an expert or two, explain what's going on, and that's it. No fluff, just useful information. And at five minutes, Amanda and I could watch a few together before we felt like moving on to something else; or we could fit one in to our schedules very easily. On the other side, the "Alpha Mom" segments were longer, less focused and less useful (1 1/2 stars).

iVillage.com: 3 1/2 stars. Amanda has used this site fairly extensively through her pregnancy. It offers connections to other moms-to-be who are around the same point in their pregnancies that you are. Being able to talk to others in the same boat is always helpful.

"Parenting" magazine: 3 1/2 stars. This magazine would be rated higher if it didn't somehow manage to charge us for a subscription without our explicit approval. We're not sure how it happened, but it did. It wasn't a huge deal, though, because the magazine has plenty of information we'll be using as soon as the baby is born and for years to come. Good stuff, well organized by your child's age.

The Hip Mama Survival Guide: 3 1/2 stars. Fun, but not much of the info was covered elsewhere.

Your Pregnancy Week by Week: 3 stars. This was a useful book, but it didn't really offer any more than What to Expect. There's no need for both books, and the other one is the standard for a reason.

Birthing from Within: 3 stars. Non-medicinal pain management book. We looked at it, but were convinced by others that medicine isn't a big deal.

"American Baby" magazine: 2 1/2 stars. This just didn't seem as well-organized or useful as "Parenting." We figured we'd only go with one magazine, and the other one gave us more each month.

The Care and Feeding of Children: 2 stars. This is the 1915 book I've been quoting from throughout this blog. It's not very useful, but it is fun. And I definitely enjoyed being able to see how clueless medical professionals were 90 years ago. It made me feel better about how clueless I am today.

The Thinking Woman's Guide to Better Birth: 1/2 star. This one was a waste of money. Amanda quickly grew annoyed at the author's repeated suggestions that most things involving the medical profession were wrong because it's a male-dominated profession. The thinking was that men are most interested in seeing things as problems that need to be fixed rather than as the natural flow of life. So men always push for unnecessary medical procedures as the solution to any issue involving childbirth (something they can't understand in the first place). And, to top it off, female doctors aren't any better because they were taught by men. Amanda got through about 15 pages of the book before dumping it. Generalizations like this don't help anyone.

Baby notes

We still haven't told anyone what we're naming our son, but we didn't expect there to be such an uproar in the family about it. We decided months ago to keep the name under wraps (a) because we liked there to be some mystery, and everyone already knew it was going to be a boy and (b) if anyone doesn't like the name, it will be too late by the time they hear it (once he's born and named).
It's not any kind of strange or cutesy unique name. It's fairly common. We were surprised, then, that nobody guessed the name for months and months. Finally, however, someone came extremely close last week on Amanda's last day at work. And, around Christmas, someone else guessed his middle name while trying to guess his first name. In a way, then, his name has been guessed.
But nobody knows what was guessed or when, so it's still a secret. That's kind of fun.

Wired babies
Do you have a Web site for your baby yet? If not, you're behind the times, according to an article in Sunday's New York Times. According to the story, many parents are purchasing domain names (it uses the example of 22-month-old Luke Seeley and his lukeseely.com site). The idea is that this is high-quality real estate that the kids will want when they grow older. And they don't wat kids ending up with generic "luke @ hotmail.com" addresses.
I'm sorry, but I'm looking forward to having a baby and watching him grow up. What his email address will be in middle school takes a back seat to whether he'll be a happy baby.

Crazed parents
Also, over the weekend, Amanda and I watched a show called "Party Party" on Bravo (I think). The show followed two sets of parents throwing extravagant birthday parties for their 5-year-old daughters.
We're talking $1,000 cake, professional party planners, horse-drawn carriages, rented gowns -- all adding up to a party that runs up to and beyond $10,000. For a 5-year-old! Will a 5-year-old even remember the party when they're an adult?
I'm sure Amanda and I will spoil our son more than we think we will (and I'm sure he'll never think of himself as having been spoiled), but I can't imagine anything like this.

What are the odds?

Let me start by saying Amanda likes the Steelers, too. Sure, she couldn't have cared less about them before we met, but she actually gets into the games to some degree these days.

But we both had written the Steelers off this year. With a hurting QB and some tough losses near the end of the season, it looked unlikely they'd make it to the playoffs. And that was just as well, we figured. If the baby is due in late January, it would probably be best if the Steelers weren't playing in the playoffs or Super Bowl at the time.

But then they won their last few games to make it into the playoffs. Then they surprisingly topped the Bengals last week. Then they shocked the top team in football today. And now they're playing next Sunday (eight days before the baby is due ... but (see post below) the baby is kind of big already, so he may be early). And if the Steelers pull off another upset, they'd be playing Feb. 5 (six days after the baby is due ... but he hasn't dropped yet and everyone says the first baby is always late, so maybe he'll be late).

But Amanda and I have talked about this (well, we talked about it after they won today). I can have the game on in the delivery room, but I have to turn it off for actual pushing. So here's how I see it: If everything goes well, there are about eight hours over the next 21 days that I'll really want to watch live sports. As long as we can avoid those eight hours (that's 1.6 percent of the time during that period), there won't be any problem and we'll all be happy. (OK, to be honest, I think we'll all be happy even if he's born during a big game. We're just looking forward to having a baby).

Big little guy

So, Amanda and I went for a late-term ultrasound last night to check on the baby's position, size, etc.

Position seems fine, but we were both a little surprised to learn he's estimated at 7 lbs. 13 oz. already. That's pretty big, and he's still got a couple of weeks to go. What's more, when the technician measures things on the ultrasound, the machine automatically calculates a due date based on the size. And based on the size of his head, he should be born next week, instead of 16 days from now.

That was a surprise, and it's got us a little nervous.

The due date is still Jan. 30, but this really sends the message that Jan. 30 is a rough estimate, and there's no way of knowing when we'll be parents.

I guess this is just the first surprise of many to come.

Whoa

OK ... be warned, this entry might not be for all the kids out there.

Here goes: I now know there's one easy way to freak out a dad to be -- take him to the breastfeeding class Amanda and I went to last night. I'm sure most breastfeeding classed are fine, but both Amanda and I came out of this one feeling uneasy and annoyed.

The problem is not the concept of breastfeeding ... it was the instructor we had last night. Everything, somehow, related to her. She seemed entirely unorganized and unprepared, so her solution was to tell you about her experiences rather than explain what most doctors think or what the hospital's policies were.

Did the class need to know she would have become a wet nurse if she could, but her husband didn't like the idea? Did the class need to hear her "highly scientific" discussions of milk shooting out all over the place and the mom's option of "squirting your husband" if he's acting weird? And what the heck was she doing telling people about the possibility of "smelling like a cow"?

Amanda's take on this "class" was that she was afraid a number of people might have come into it with the plan of breastfeeding, then left wanting to have no part of it. I wouldn't be terribly surprised. I know the people seated behind us left before the instructor wrapped things up.

To be fair, though, that could have been because the 2 hour class took about 2 1/2 hours to finish. Still, there couldn't have been more than an hour worth of information (useful or not) in the entire time.

Does the instructor understand that some pregnant women aren't exactly comfortable sitting for 2 1/2 hours without a break? Or that most people work and have some sort of schedule they'd like to stick to?

This was a tremendous waste. I'd rather go back and try to put together that pain in the neck travel crib again instead of sit through this garbage.

Over with

OK, at least it's over now. Let's not start out another day rehashing the annoyances of the previous one. How about another excerpt from "The Care and Feeding of Children," our 1915 classic on how far parenting knowledge has come:

Of what is mother's milk composed? Thirteen parts solids and eighty-seven
water. (Now that's precise).
...
How often should infants be nursed during the first two days of life?
Usually only four or five times daily, since there is very little milk secreted
at this time.
Should the infant be fed anything additional during the first two days?
Usually not; if much food were necessary, we may be sure Nature would have
provided it. Water, however, should be given regularly.
...
What ... is important in the life of the nursing mother? She should lead a
simply natural life; should have regular out-of-door exercise, preferably
walking ... She should be as free as possible from unnecessary cares and worry;
her rest at night should be disturbed as little as possible. (Amanda will be
happy to hear about that).
...
Does the nervous condition of the mother affect the milk?
Very much more than her diet; worry, anxiety, fatigue, loss of sleep,
household cares, social dissipation, etc., have more than anything else to do
with the failure of the modern mother as nurse.

There you go, more wisdom from the past.

Counting down

As the countdown really kicks into high gear (21 days from today!), I'm feeling a lot of different things. This really is the beginning of a different life. For decades, most of us are able to put ourselves first if we really want to.
As a kid, most of us put ourselves first without even thinking about it. It's just natural for many people.
As a teen, nobody understood us. We were islands in this crazy world.
In college, we finally had our parents off our backs and really had a chance to put ourselves first.
After college, we started to learn that putting ourselves first didn't pay the bills. The change began.
Married life? You can't just think of yourself when you're living with someone else.
But even in those recent parts of life, we all could be first for a while. Tough day at work? Just sit down and veg in from of the TV. Or grab a drink with some friends and laugh about work. Or relax with your significant other. You're not really first, but at least all the other things that sometimes have to come first can be pushed to second.

But it's all different with a baby, isn't it? The baby will always be first. There's never a time again where the parents can be first without question. If the baby cries, he's first. If the baby has a fever, he's first. Drop the baby off with a sitter and go on a quiet date? Make sure to bring your cell phone ... the baby could become first again at any instant.

That's a big change.
I hope I'm ready.

Good news

Amanda got some good news recently when she found out her time off from work is set up differently than she thought. Apparently, it makes me sense to take off about eight (business) days before the due date, rather than waiting until the due date.

All I can say: Whew!

I can't imagine her trying to keep working for three more weeks (holy ----! due date is actually 24 days from today!). I'm amazed at the toll carrying around a baby is having on her here near the end. She's still alert and active and all, but she definitely tires much more easily. And you never know when, just sitting around, she'll get a serious jab from the kid or he'll roll around a little and sideswipe and organ or two. You've gotta be tough to handle that. I'm still impressed at how well Amanda has handled it.

But I'm glad she'll have some time to relax, keep her feet elevated and just take it easy.

Car seat

So I put the car seat into my car the other day. Now I'm actually driving around with the base in the back seat ... a not-so-subtle reminder that everything will change in just a couple more weeks.

Here's the thing, though: The instructors at one of our baby classes clearly said the center of the back seat was the safest place for a baby seat. Unfortunately, we only have the LATCH hookup on the sides, not in the center. To further confuse things, the instruction booklet and info we've seen online says to always use the LATCH if it's available. LATCH, everything explains, allows the seat to be attached directly to the frame of the car, making for a far more secure hookup than a seatbelt.

So which is it? Is LATCH on the outside safer than seatbelt in the center?

And how is the thing supposed to be securely attached when it's attached at two points in the back? Won't the front move from side to side no matter what? Is that secure?

Nobody told me there'd be questions like this. We're running out of time!

Brussel Sprout soda? No thanks.

So, as part of the exciting New Year's plan for the expectant parents, we finally tried some of the Jones Soda Holiday pack (http://www.beveragesdirect.com/detail-1062-jones_soda_holiday_2005-national.asp). We got these things as a little gift for my brothers and their families this year, and got one that we intended to try around Christmas when we had some family over.

Take a look at the link, I'll wait.
...
Disgusting, no? Cranberry soda? No problem. Pumpkin pie? OK. Wild Herb Stuffing ... um, alright. Turkey and gravy? Hmmm. And there it is ... in it's ugly green glory: Brussel Sprouts and Prosciutto soda.

So, anyway. Amanda and I aren't really up for a major new year's party. She's exhausted from carrying around an ever-enlarging (and continually moving) baby; I've been feeling under the weather lately. We opt, instead, for a quiet night at home. I make a nice steak dinner, she makes a great salad, we have some chilled sparkling pear juice and some Trader Joes chocolate truffles for when the ball drops.

Then I suggest we give the sodas a try. What the heck, we have them and there's not much else we can do with them, right? And I go for the worst. I'll open the Brussel Sprout soda, give us both a small glass full and toast the coming new year.
Then Amanda smells it ... and almost throws up.
"That should be the pregnancy test right there," she says. "Here, smell this ... if it makes you almost throw up, you're pregnant."
Nonetheless, I give it a try. A tiny sip, it barely touches my lips. "Yeah, that's pretty bad." Another sip, enough to make me have to swallow it ... and I almost throw up as well.

I though these things were sorta like those Harry Potter-related jelly beans, the ones that taste like dirt or grass or earwax, but still end up being jelly beans in the end. This stuff was just disgusting.

Anyway, that was our last New Year's Eve before having our first baby. It's one we'll remember, I'm sure.

Happy New Year!

It really hit Amanda and me just after midnight ... we're actually in the month we're supposed to give birth. This is going to happen -- and soon.

Amanda visits ivillage.com regularly. It's a site for expectant mothers (and others, I'm sure). It's divided into what month you're expecting so you can chat with others who are experiencing things similar to what you're experiencing. She's in the January club. She showed me a day or two ago ... there's more than a page of women in the January club who already gave birth in December.

And then my mother told me my cousin in Finland and his wife had their baby recently -- 3 weeks early! We're not ready for something like that.

I'm still counting on him being a February baby, just to give us a little more time.

Whatever happens, though, I'm sure it will make for an eventful new year (and new life) for us. I hope all you out there have a happy new year as well.