Whoa

OK ... be warned, this entry might not be for all the kids out there.

Here goes: I now know there's one easy way to freak out a dad to be -- take him to the breastfeeding class Amanda and I went to last night. I'm sure most breastfeeding classed are fine, but both Amanda and I came out of this one feeling uneasy and annoyed.

The problem is not the concept of breastfeeding ... it was the instructor we had last night. Everything, somehow, related to her. She seemed entirely unorganized and unprepared, so her solution was to tell you about her experiences rather than explain what most doctors think or what the hospital's policies were.

Did the class need to know she would have become a wet nurse if she could, but her husband didn't like the idea? Did the class need to hear her "highly scientific" discussions of milk shooting out all over the place and the mom's option of "squirting your husband" if he's acting weird? And what the heck was she doing telling people about the possibility of "smelling like a cow"?

Amanda's take on this "class" was that she was afraid a number of people might have come into it with the plan of breastfeeding, then left wanting to have no part of it. I wouldn't be terribly surprised. I know the people seated behind us left before the instructor wrapped things up.

To be fair, though, that could have been because the 2 hour class took about 2 1/2 hours to finish. Still, there couldn't have been more than an hour worth of information (useful or not) in the entire time.

Does the instructor understand that some pregnant women aren't exactly comfortable sitting for 2 1/2 hours without a break? Or that most people work and have some sort of schedule they'd like to stick to?

This was a tremendous waste. I'd rather go back and try to put together that pain in the neck travel crib again instead of sit through this garbage.

Over with

OK, at least it's over now. Let's not start out another day rehashing the annoyances of the previous one. How about another excerpt from "The Care and Feeding of Children," our 1915 classic on how far parenting knowledge has come:

Of what is mother's milk composed? Thirteen parts solids and eighty-seven
water. (Now that's precise).
...
How often should infants be nursed during the first two days of life?
Usually only four or five times daily, since there is very little milk secreted
at this time.
Should the infant be fed anything additional during the first two days?
Usually not; if much food were necessary, we may be sure Nature would have
provided it. Water, however, should be given regularly.
...
What ... is important in the life of the nursing mother? She should lead a
simply natural life; should have regular out-of-door exercise, preferably
walking ... She should be as free as possible from unnecessary cares and worry;
her rest at night should be disturbed as little as possible. (Amanda will be
happy to hear about that).
...
Does the nervous condition of the mother affect the milk?
Very much more than her diet; worry, anxiety, fatigue, loss of sleep,
household cares, social dissipation, etc., have more than anything else to do
with the failure of the modern mother as nurse.

There you go, more wisdom from the past.